We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
