You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
