I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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