your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He better not be in your backpack
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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