the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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