i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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