apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
