I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
