So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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