If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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