Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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