I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
