They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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