so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I love you. Go after that dick
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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