She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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