i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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