Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
