You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And my parents said I crawled through the house
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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