'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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