I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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