Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
