Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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