i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
