I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
