Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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