i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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