On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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