I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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