So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I smell stomach acid.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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