fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
COCAINE IS GR8
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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