from now on my penis is your penis
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
