apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
