he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
