Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
