Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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