if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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