Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
