I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
