hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
