turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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