i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
