Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
