I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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