My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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