Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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