How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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