My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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