Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
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Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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