I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize