I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
my liver is dry heaving
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
