I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize