I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
