i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
