I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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