she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
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as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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