this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
