Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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