She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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