Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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