Yo dont text me then not text me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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