Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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