11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
