she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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