I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
