its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
