what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
