Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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