I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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