So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
