If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
love makes seman taste better
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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